Friday, April 23, 2010

The Plan

This week I got some not-so-great news about my ongoing adoption process.  (For those of you who don't know, I am adopting from India.)  We applied over a year ago.  (Last March)  We were told that it would take 10 months for a referral, then another 10 months for the government to process the paperwork before we were allowed to bring our child home.  So, 20 months total.  A long time, but doable. 

Well, after forking over tens of thousands of dollars and hearing nothing in over a year, I contacted the adoption agency.  It turns out that now the wait time has increased to 18-24 months  THEN the 10 month processing time.  So it could take 34 months total.  Plus, I thought the time started from when we applied.  Nope.  It starts from when we're approved.  We were approved  in July 2009.  (It takes a few months to do the homestudy and to take all the online parenting classes you have to take.)  So that means we've been waiting 9 months from then.  (Not eleven like I had thought.)  So it will take another 2 years before we get our child.  Two years!! 

What's even worse it that they do not allow concurrent adoptions so I cannot adopt a local child in the meantime without them putting this one on hold.  Also, if a miracle happened and I were to magically become pregnant, they would also stop the adoption until the child was 1 year old.  (Which means they stop the wait time too!  This is madness because I could hypothetically have a two-year-old by the time this adoption goes through without them stopping it.  Argh!)

After sitting with this and thinking, I've come up with a plan of sorts.  I am 35 and I am hearing the loud ticking of that clock and I do not want to waste 2 years of what's left of my fertility (so to speak) waiting on this adoption  that might not actually happen.  (Because who knows what they'll decide in 2 years' time?) 

So here's the plan:

1.  Continue to get as healthy as possible.
2.  HAVE FUN this summer and visit friends in Florida and Ireland.  (Because once kids are in the picture, trips like this are not likely to happen.)
3.  Once I get back from said vacation, go back to the fertility clinic and try all that crap again.  I have lost 30 pounds since the last time I tried fertility treatments so I'm hoping my body will respond better.
4.  Add acupuncture to the fertility treatments.  I've read that combining acupuncture with fertility treatments can increase the success rate by as much as 65%.  Plus, I've had some success with acupuncture helping my migraines so I'm hopeful that it will help with this too.

This way, I'm at least trying in the meantime while I wait FOREVER on my Indian baby.  At least if fertility treatments don't work again, I'll have the adoption going on the back burner.  


  1. Great plan! I am very happy that you will visit Ireland this year but as for the rest.....what a load of s***e!

    I feel very bad over all of this. I know you will be a great mother when you get the chance but I am also mindful of the children that are potentially losing out on having you and Alex as parents because of all the red tape rubbish. It seems so ridiculous when you lay it all out as above.

    I have a good feeling for you though, I really do. Enjoy your current free time as much as possible though because once baby arrives IT IS OVER! Ha ha just kidding but in a sense it will because as a great parent, you will put baby first and think of yourself last if at all!

    It must be a great comfort to those wishing to give their children up for adoption that people like you want to give those children a loving home. You are an exceptional person and your future children are very lucky, they just don't know it yet. Please God that everything happens sooner than you think!


  2. Sounds like a good plan. I did acupuncture during my treatments. It was relaxing.

  3. Excellent plan! Have a blast on your travels! And everything Mairead said!