Here is a story from Thanksgiving this past year:
Okay, so I have this 90-year-old Grandma who is so cranky and rude that it's actually entertaining. Her behavior at Thanksgiving yesterday inspired me to add some crazy Grandma stories to my repertoire. Cathartic for me, and entertaining for you. Enjoy!
1. My grandma was using her shiny, red walker to inch across the living room to her chair. In the middle of the floor, my cousin's 4-year-old daughter was playing. (oblivious to said Grandma.) Inch, inch, inch. When she finally got up to where the child was playing, she stopped and yelled, "Well, get out of the way!!" Classic.
2. After the big meal, we were trying to get desserts to the kids first. (You gotta give sweets to the kids first, and then the adults, right?) Well, Grandma was having none of that. She said loudly to my cousin's grandma, "I GUESS they'll get ours in a little while!" Okay. I can take a hint.
3. When I gave Grandma her pie, I asked if she wanted coffee. "Not THAT stuff!", she replied.
4. My poor British husband (well, half-British & half-Greek) always has to endure her questions about why the Brits don't have Thanksgiving. This year, she added "I guess you British aren't very thankful people".
5. My brother reported to me that she was watching TV when a Levitra ad came on. "Well that's one problem I've never had", says Grandma. "..or maybe that is what I had right before my heart attack a few years ago. Maybe I should take that!" Who knows what she thinks Levitra is for! ;-)
Let's just say I'd rather spend time with Daisy than with my Grams. (Sad to say, but true.)
Showing posts with label Cranky Old People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cranky Old People. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Old (but fun) Stories: Another Crazy Daisy Installment
This happened this past Chrismas when we were visiting my Mother-in-law in Greece:
Christmas Eve’s Eve: Daisy likes to leave lists of things for us to get for her. Two days before Chrismas, we returned from buying groceries for her from a VERY busy store. We were saying how glad we were to get it done with and that we were glad that we wouldn’t have to go on Christmas Eve because it would be even more crowded. Daisy agreed with us and said, “Yes. I’ve always wondered why people wait until Christmas Eve to buy things. Why don’t they go earlier when it’s less crowded?” You can imagine our surprise (and annoyance) when we came down the next day (Christmas Eve), to find another grocery list! Why had she not put these things on the list the day before? “Because I didn’t need them then, but I need them now!” Could it wait until after Christmas? No, it could not. So, Daisy, why do people go out to buy things on Christmas Eve? BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS SEND THEM OUT WITH LISTS!
Christmas Eve’s Eve: Daisy likes to leave lists of things for us to get for her. Two days before Chrismas, we returned from buying groceries for her from a VERY busy store. We were saying how glad we were to get it done with and that we were glad that we wouldn’t have to go on Christmas Eve because it would be even more crowded. Daisy agreed with us and said, “Yes. I’ve always wondered why people wait until Christmas Eve to buy things. Why don’t they go earlier when it’s less crowded?” You can imagine our surprise (and annoyance) when we came down the next day (Christmas Eve), to find another grocery list! Why had she not put these things on the list the day before? “Because I didn’t need them then, but I need them now!” Could it wait until after Christmas? No, it could not. So, Daisy, why do people go out to buy things on Christmas Eve? BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS SEND THEM OUT WITH LISTS!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Old (but fun) Stories: Crazy Daisy Got Busted!
The following is a story about my feisty Greek mother-in-law from when we visited her last summer:
Daisy is full of contradictions. An example of this is her attitude about walking to the shops (3 blocks form her house). She is afraid of leaving her house. “What if I get really tired and have to sit down?”, “What if I get swine flu?”, “What if the cats get hungry and I’m not there to feed them?”, etc. So yesterday evening, we convinced her to walk to the store with us, and stop for gelato. After much ado, we walked the 3 blocks....at about the same pace as you do when standing in line at the bank. Seriously. It took about 20 minutes to do a 2 minute walk. Anyway, when she was crossing the road, we were urging her to hurry because cars were coming. “No! I’ll not be rushed! They can very well slow down!” Also, she would walk in the middle of the road saying, “Let the cars go around me!” So ---- all this fear about ridiculous things, and the one thing that really could kill her was of no concern to her. Hmmmmm.
By the way----in case you were wondering, there is no medical reason as to why Daisy should walk so slowly. My 90 year old grandmother walks a mile everyday, and could run rings around her! Daisy did have an operation on her leg though. A year ago. (It was a simple, outpatient procedure.) She has been capitalizing on that ever since.
A few days later, my husband and I were returning from a short excursion. We thought we might stop at the shops near Daisy’s house to get some lunch. While we were looking for a parking place, who do you think we saw turbo-charging down the street? That’s right---none other than Miss Daisy! She was briskly walking, head held high, skirt swaying back and forth, chin jutted out in determination, and eyes focused forward! (It took us a while to even recognize her!) She didn’t even see us as we pulled up. She jumped as soon as she saw us and switched to her “slow, wobble-walk” as I like to call it. She is SO busted! Apparently, she walks to the shops down the street all the time. This makes the above story extra funny. She had led us to believe that the time above was her first time walking down the street since her operation a year ago. We’re on to her now. The good thing about this is that my husband doesn’t worry about her as much now. There’s always a silver lining.
Daisy is full of contradictions. An example of this is her attitude about walking to the shops (3 blocks form her house). She is afraid of leaving her house. “What if I get really tired and have to sit down?”, “What if I get swine flu?”, “What if the cats get hungry and I’m not there to feed them?”, etc. So yesterday evening, we convinced her to walk to the store with us, and stop for gelato. After much ado, we walked the 3 blocks....at about the same pace as you do when standing in line at the bank. Seriously. It took about 20 minutes to do a 2 minute walk. Anyway, when she was crossing the road, we were urging her to hurry because cars were coming. “No! I’ll not be rushed! They can very well slow down!” Also, she would walk in the middle of the road saying, “Let the cars go around me!” So ---- all this fear about ridiculous things, and the one thing that really could kill her was of no concern to her. Hmmmmm.
By the way----in case you were wondering, there is no medical reason as to why Daisy should walk so slowly. My 90 year old grandmother walks a mile everyday, and could run rings around her! Daisy did have an operation on her leg though. A year ago. (It was a simple, outpatient procedure.) She has been capitalizing on that ever since.
A few days later, my husband and I were returning from a short excursion. We thought we might stop at the shops near Daisy’s house to get some lunch. While we were looking for a parking place, who do you think we saw turbo-charging down the street? That’s right---none other than Miss Daisy! She was briskly walking, head held high, skirt swaying back and forth, chin jutted out in determination, and eyes focused forward! (It took us a while to even recognize her!) She didn’t even see us as we pulled up. She jumped as soon as she saw us and switched to her “slow, wobble-walk” as I like to call it. She is SO busted! Apparently, she walks to the shops down the street all the time. This makes the above story extra funny. She had led us to believe that the time above was her first time walking down the street since her operation a year ago. We’re on to her now. The good thing about this is that my husband doesn’t worry about her as much now. There’s always a silver lining.
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